Calcutta, March 22nd 2008

The 2008 North India Tour is over!
It’s like Tiramisu, I said when someone asked me what I thought of the experience. It cannot be eaten immediately after it has been made. It has to rest in the fridge overnight first.
Oh dear! Trust me to think of food to explain a spiritual experience.
When the program came to an end yesterday morning, I was not the only one crying. A feeling of loss echoed in my heart. Like in a movie, images of the last two months ran through my mind. Had it only been two months since I left home and set off on this Tiramisu of a journey?
And why had I shed so many tears? Why was I shedding them now? What was it within me that now felt sadness at seeing everything being dismantled?
Had I not longed and dreamed and talked about going home to my family?
And yes, that longing is still there. But what about the friends I made here with whom I shared rickshaws and memories?
Not to mention Amma who had been physically present in my daily life since I arrived in India on the fourth of February.
Was I like my cat Zoe, often on the wrong side of the door?

How tenderly had Amma held me when I went up for Darshan at four o’clock in the morning. Afterwards, I sat in the hall with Miriam and watched the rest of the group go up to Amma one by one.
Sweet, kind, always smiling Emmanuelle was sobbing; Priscilla was stumbling down the ramp. Lars, Kaivalya, Raffaella, Mira, Mary, Brenda, Liz, Kripalu, Linda, Leela, Pushpa… not all of them crying, but certainly subdued.
I didn’t want to say goodbye. When the last one of us had had Darshan and Amma got up from her Peetham, so did I. While everyone rushed to catch a last glimpse of her as she left the hall, I quietly walked out of a side door and made my way to the nearby taxi stand.
The buses were already being loaded for the return journey to Amritapuri. The stands that only hours earlier had been full of books, CDs, incense and more, were now planks of wood lying on the ground.
After a last look at the newly consecrated Brahamasthanam Temple, I walked out of the Ashram gates and into the first available taxi for the drive to the Oberoi.
An hour or two from now, the traffic would be unbearable, but at six o’clock in the morning the roads were fairly clear.
As we got closer to the hotel, I was startled out of my reverie, when I noticed that every other car, bicycle and rickshaw on the road was going in the opposite direction.
It did take me a couple of seconds but I did grasp the fact that, though cautiously, we were driving on the wrong side of the road, but as my driver did not seem to be overly concerned, I didn’t feel that I should be either. In any case he did move to the right side soon enough.
I wasn’t too bothered either when I realized that this driver wasn’t too particular about the colour of traffic lights; red, green, it was all the same to him. Or as they say here:
“Same, same but different.”

I am now at the hotel with Nova. What joy to see her again! She tells me that I have lost weight, but with the delicious breakfasts, lunches and dinners that I have been eating here at the hotel…. Oh dear, I do have to be careful!
Nova and I are going to do a bit of sightseeing today and tomorrow and then I am going HOME! I can’t wait.

From India With Love,
Esmeralda

Ps I would like to thank Pryan, Jani and Doo who selflessly organize the tour for Westerners like me, I owe them a lot. In my book I will write more about them. But for now I want to say that it was a relief this morning not to have to pack my bed roll for loading.
As for Tiramisu, I make a really good one and if you would like the recipe, email me at : esmeraldawn@gmail.com
As for Nova, like Bruno, she will write her own entry about her experience.